Monday, 19 May 2014

I will not grow up... not now... not ever

Trust me. It is.

Anyone who knows me knows that I had a very strong distaste towards growing up- a classic case of Peter Pan syndrome. It’s an actually syndrome I didn’t just make that up, Wikipedia even said so. Unfortunately it’s not listed as a clinically recognized mental disorder, so I can’t skip out on life and go to Baily Henderson.  But the inevitable has occurred… I’m now 18, which under Australian law makes me a legal adult. (Insert ‘witty’ joke about anyone being allowed to turn 18 now). Being a legal adult my first rule of order was to purchase  a car via selling my soul to the finance devil and committing myself to be his slave for the next five years of my crispy, fresh, young life. Along with a pretty little new car comes comprehensive car insurance- what the hell is that right? So next came the countless hours searching and I do mean searching looking over thousands of different options. Do you want window tinting? Will anyone else be driving the vehicle? Where will the vehicle be stored over night? Sell us your first born son and you can have 10% off, now lord I hope I never have a son cause I needed that 10% off.  I’m joking about that last one, I sold my son for 20% off with RACQ. No, all jokes aside I wouldn’t put it past any of them to pull that. It’s a cut throat world out there in insurance land.

Along with becoming 18 I gained some more responsibilities- making your own doctors appointments… WITHOUT your mum coming. I know, I know. What a thought and trust me, sitting in that waiting room I was more worried about talking to this doctor then I was about what could be wrong with me. What if he called my name and I didn’t hear him and I miss my appointment? What if I was here on the wrong day? What if I’m at the wrong doctors and my name never gets called? You may think I’m exaggerating but man, I am not. Those were my 100% real thoughts. 

Oh and also no more being woken up by mum in the mornings anymore, HA what a luxury that was. I’d take ‘NATALIE GET OUT OF BED NOW!’  any day over Samsung’s ‘over the horizon’ . Yeah it’ll be over the horizon cause I’ve bloody thrown it over there.

I might just sound like I’m whining and I am, I’m allowed to. I wasn’t ready to be a grown up and work 38 hours a week only to have all my pay sucked up by the debt vacuum-  and do not even get me started on Suncorp’s little ‘Honor Fee’… wow Suncorp thanks so much for honoring my fee, now you honor me with a $40 fee… Oh no, no, no, no. Naht today Hunnie. Life literally is a vicious cycle, we work to live, and live to work. Ew right. Take me back to four sessions a day, three breaks, and crappy assignments any day. Sure I spent about half of my last year in High School stressing and crying and feeling like I was banging my head against a brick wall that progressively got harder, but at least I had a lot less responsibility in life.

Now I’m going to say something here, and I know for a fact it’s going to break my year coordinators heart I wish I tried harder. Oh god, there it is. Yes, I’ve let myself down- and that’s really all I’ve let down in the end. Myself. I look back now and wish I’d tried a little harder on that Modern History oral in which I allowed myself to have a large giggle and a half at the fact that this guys wife’s name was ‘Bangaragaroo’- sounds like the name of Miley Cyrus’ new album. Or in that Math exam I should have tried harder rather then flipping off the grade 8’s outside my window, at the time I thought I was a comedian (I still am, don’t worry) but now ask me any basic math equation and I wouldn’t have a slight clue. No really I wouldn’t. How sad!   

Yes what I am really saying in this how post is- I’ve grown up, I’m still trying to deny that I’ve grown up, but my responsibilities just keep growing and growing, unlike my bank account that is struggling to keep up.  So next time you’re sitting there dreaming of being 18, going out clubbing, drinking all the time, walking through the bottle-o like you are the bees knees. Just remember- one you probably can’t afford it, two you really can’t afford it, and three the man behind the counter thinks you’re a tosser, give it up. Pick up your four pack of cruisers and get out of there without talking loudly to him about your planned ‘wild night’ remember he thinks you’re a tosser

Somehow I have convinced everyone around me that I’m totally ready to be an adult and I totally love it- woo. 18 is great. See super convincing. While school isn’t for some people, adult life isn’t for me… just yet. 
So I guess I'm a Hipster now

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